What am I doing at 02:45am reminiscing the times we couldn’t get enough of each other? Around this time you’d stroll through your door, half drunk with heavy eyes. You’d hit me up whilst getting ready for bed, I used to imagine that there would be a day I’d watch you do all this. I know you did too.
I’m doing well these days, I’m sure you would be glad to hear, though our ending was not so pleasant. Nor was it left with hate. I could never hate you.
I remember the nights I’d be up at this time where it turned from sweet to terribly sour, eyes bawling and heads banging, praying you were safe. That you listened to the lectures that you never seemed to respond to. I’m glad I’m not at that stage anymore.
I cant imagine beginning this fresh year in search of someone new but dear lord you are a coward. Silence and avoidance to escape situations in which you must speak truth. You made jokes out of hurt. We made jokes out of hurt. We ended up mimicking each other. I needed answers. I gave in, I put pride to the side, I grew a pair. I am no saint but I am most definitely not a coward,
A habit I’m surely glad I didn’t catch from you.
I wish you the best but this is not my loss.