It’s so easy to go back to what you know
How do you tell yourself it’s time to stop?
I feel my consciousness drifting and I don’t want it back.
I don’t want you back.
I don’t want me back.
My words make no sense but my mind is as blank as the silence that answers everything in its most devastating form of existence. And they say that quiet surroundings will help you fall into slumber. Is this getting to you? Do I make sense?
It all never did
I never did
I’m only trying to work this out
My mascara will smear more than ever because my hands are so insistent on pressurising my eyes
Forcing tears have never been my forte
I lost my innocence a long time ago
Who would have I been to be attached at all times to your hip?
Forget all that we thought we would always mean
No one cares to talk about it
I remember when I knew you were leaving and I didn’t lose my breath anymore than when I left myself alone with pointy things, rips at the seams of my shirt and 3 packs of ibuprofen. I always keep a pack everywhere I go.
I just want to hear you talk one more time before we stop.
I need distance from myself
I make my body older than it really is
I am eroding
I can’t pretend that I don’t see this
So I won’t be coming back
Who wouldn’t let me be all alone?