Was it ever about me? Who has broken your heart my love? You have surely crushed mine. Was I a fool to assume you were hurting from the mess we made too? Is she less violent than me? Were her words softer than mine? Did they flow better? Does she make your heart beat faster than I could, or is ‘she’,
I want to question him day and night. I want to know why he kept silent for 6 months. I want to know why I didn’t ask for his reason of silence at the perfect time. I guess a part of me would rather live in ignorance than to find out that I was never the one he kept in a safe place. You think I would be after all the ways I write about him
And the motivation I gave him
The motivation I pushed in him.
The stupid puns and private jokes
The way we continued convo and only stopped to sleep, I used to sleep.
The idea shared of us in the future laughing at those who aren’t us
The image of our parents meeting one day, dads speaking of sport, politics and football whilst our mothers sat and spoke of what knobs their husbands are
I was so sure you saw the same.
The on and off passion
The way you never called
The way you didn’t reply when I told you how I felt
Or when you stopped replying to my lectures
I just wanted you to be safe.
Am I insane? Did I obsess with the idea of love?
Was this even something worth writing about?
I was looking at our throwback pictures and couldn’t stop laughing. Your long hair and my blacked out eyes. Our ‘Hollywood Undead’ anthem. God we were dramatic. We still are.
My dear I want the best for you but you will not let me help. You will not care for me.
“All I wanted to do was share the sun with you, you thought I was trying to burn you.”
You’re always welcome if you want it all back.